Helping your child become more independent

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Your child is thirsty, you instantly get up to grab them a drink. Once meals are finished, they leave the table knowing mum or dad will put dishes in the sink. Your child leaves their laundry on their bedroom floor, you collect it and put on a wash load.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, it’s because out of the love of your own heart, through the eyes of your children, you are the housemaid. Whilst in some cases it’s kind to allow your children to have some leeway, you end up creating an individual who was no independence and will rely on everyone but themselves long term.

Your child will lack independence, self-esteem and problem-solving skills which are vital for their future. You may be feeling guilty but fear not!

Here are three ways to help your child become more independent.

Stop doing everything

The most obvious one is to stop doing everything for your kids. Whilst most parents may say that they don’t, it is easy to get into the habit and become numb to tasks that are actually simple enough to take off your plate and dish onto your child.

Examples may be putting their clothes straight into the laundry basket, putting their dishes in the kitchen or sink once they’ve eaten, put shoes in the right place and even being mindful of making mess when eating. Children are a lot more understanding than we think and are capable of more than we tend to allow so take advantage of this.

You’ll notice a huge amount of weight fall off your shoulders.

Speak to your child

Make notice of it. When you’ve come to terms with what you would like to change, be vocal about it in front of your children too. You could say something along the lines of “I’m sorry I've been treating you like a baby!”.

Reiterate this in different scenarios to help your child understand the responsibilities they should have. Like this private school in Wiltshire, giving responsibilities to a child allows them to grow and develop major skills.

Simplify

Finally, make it easy for them to succeed. If you would prefer your children didn’t leave their clothes lying around, create a designated space where they can leave it that is accessible to them. The same with shoes, have a shoe rack that can store them neatly. With snacks, you can create a low shelf for them so that they are able to help themselves. The methods are endless.

Doing this doesn’t make you a less loving parent as “selfish” as it may sound. Instead, you are providing your child with lifelong skills which can come as the best gift of all.