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Writer's pictureBecky O'Haire

Happiness is an Inside Job

We all want to be happy – but what does that actually mean? And how can we get happiness? Well, one thing is for sure – happiness does not exist outside of yourself, it’s not something you need to find or search for.




Happiness is a personal thing

Happiness is a personal thing – it has everything to do with you and nothing to do with others. The media likes to sell us the idea of the perfect couple, the ideal partners who make each other happy. And that we gain happiness from external things like a fab new car or jewellery or something shiny. As you journey towards inner happiness, understanding the balance of your energies becomes crucial; read this article to explore how cultivating your masculine energy can enhance your personal power and emotional resilience, leading to a more fulfilled and balanced life.


Well, that’s not true. It’s a way of selling to us. Sure a person or new toy might make us feel good or excited but this feeling is short-lived. And it’s not happiness. This is excitement or joy. Which is nice don’t get me wrong but a relationship or material items aren’t going to bring us happiness.


Happiness comes from within us, from contentment with yourself. Happiness comes from how we feel within.



Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life


Forget about pursuing happiness

The concept of “the pursuit of happiness” tells us that happiness is out there somewhere to be found. So we need to look for it, and when we find it, then we will be happy.


Under this idea, happiness is something we can find outside of ourselves – if we search hard enough. This puts a lot of pressure on ourselves to find this elusive happiness. And it might make people feel like they are failing at finding happiness because they don’t have something that they want like a house, ideal job or partner.


The pursuit of happiness concept feeds the idea that if something happens, then we will be happy.


But do you know what? It never works – we might find some excitement or joy from achieving what we think will bring us happiness but it doesn’t last, it’s not true happiness.

So forget about pursuing happiness – it is not out there to be found. Happiness can come from within you so that’s where we need to focus – inside yourself.



Your happiness is your responsibility

We shouldn’t blame others for not making us happy. Happiness is your responsibility, alone. We each have to figure out how to take things that happen in life and make the best out of the situation. To look to the positive and to be happy.


To me, happiness is inner peace. It’s being content in each moment. It’s in embracing the moment we are in. Happiness is staying in the positive. Happiness like positivity is there, moment by moment. Make the choice to look to the positive, stay in the present and to embrace that moment like you chose it.




Sometimes things happen that aren’t nice things. We have to process them, learn and move on. Release, forgive and carry on with our lives.


It’s in this kind of living that we feel happiness. By being grateful for each moment that we have, we find happiness within. It’s not by being happy that we are grateful but it’s the other way around. When we are grateful for each moment and for what we have right now, that’s when we find happiness!







Happiness lives in the present moment

If we are in the pursuit of happiness and searching for it, then we are skipping the moment we are in right now. This feeling robs us of enjoying the moment we are in because we are constantly on the lookout for something better, something that is going to make us happy. And we miss what’s happening now, we miss the opportunity to be happy, now!


By being grateful for what we have – right now and by staying present in the moment we are in, and loving ourselves for who we are, we find happiness within ourselves.




Put this theory to practice

It’s wonderful to read content and be inspired. But what happens to me, is if I don’t figure out how to harness the content and bring it into my daily routine, the inspiration goes after a few days and I continue on just as I was before.


In order to bring these inspiring concepts into your reality, you need to create a new mindset and new habits to bring these concepts into your day to day life and make them a habit.

Searching within yourself is so important and then letting go and forgiving the hurt you find inside.


Each week I’m going to go over some simple ways to make positive changes within. Watch this space and also follow me on Instagram or Facebook to stay updated. You can subscribe here to receive my articles straight to your email inbox, so you don’t miss my next positive thinking post (I promise there is no spam, blog post alerts only). x

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